The Season of Change

Standing atop the dunes of the Indiana lake shore, I stand alone like a beast of the wild, surveying the emptiness before me. The cold bite of winter is long gone, but her fading teeth marks are still felt upon my fiery cheeks. The waves crash with the rhythm of war drums, drowning out the caws of gulls that fight on the lakes edge over a meal of rotted meat. With the keen eye of a hawk, I watch the day wave good bye against the backdrop of the Chicago skyline across the lake. The setting sun brings me no magic, no majestic picture painted just for me by the hand of god, and no lilac and lace mixed with hues of gold and crimson—–no, on this day the sun sinks like a rock onto my heart; matching the block of cement deep within my chest.

The wind rages against me, and sand tears at my flesh, trying to steal a piece of my soul. My eyes swell with tears of pain, or maybe it is just the agony of a lovesick heart trying to break free from its cage—I know not which. In either case, I weep. More

Twas the Night Before Atkins

Twas the Night Before Atkins

Twas the night before Atkins and all through the land
Not a bad carb could be found, not by woman or man.
The celery was placed under pillows with care,
In hopes that the whoosh Fairy soon would be there.

The dieters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of thin bottoms danced in their heads.
As I looked in the mirror, and jumped on the scale,
I was morbidly fluffy, this much I could tell.

When down in the kitchen there rose such a clatter,
I sprang down the stairs to see what was the matter.
Away through the house I flew like a flash,
My belly did jiggle and so did my ass. More

I’d Like to Teach the World to Eat

I’d like to Teach the World to Eat

Sing to the tune I’d like to Teach the World to Sing, as performed by New Seekers.

I’d like to teach the world a diet
A diet that I love
Grow thin like me, lose pounds they’ll see
And show what Atkins does.

I’d like to teach the world to eat
In perfect health they’ll be.
I’d like to teach them low carb-ly
And keep them company. More

I Lost it My Way

I Lost It My Way

Sing to the tune  My Way, by Sinatra.

And now inductions near
And so I face the final muffin
My friend I’ll say it clear
I’ll lose my weight, this much I’m certain.

I ate, till way past full
I’ve shoveled in each and every Carbohydrate
And more, much more than this
I ate it my way.
Florets, I’ve had a few
But then again to few to mention.

I ate what I wanted to
And saw my butt had grew
without Intention. More

Atkinsville: Sung to the tune of Green Acres

Atkinsville

You ever get one of those songs stuck in your head that you just can’t let go of? Well, I had a little time to kill at work and decide to write a song to the tune of Green Acres, now I can’t get it out of this wee little brain of mine.

 

Atkinsville is the place to be
eating food that is good for me
butts spreading out so far and wide
keep your muffins, just give me my
chicken thighs.

New York strip is the Atkins way
burger and fries are here to stay.
I just adore pasta fagioli
dah-ling I love you but give me my
carbo food.

Low carbs
I’ll starve
Fresh Greens
You’re mean.

You are my wife
Good-bye dirty rice

Atkinsville we are there…

As always, comments are welcome and encouraged.

Terry (whyguy)