Twas the Night Before Atkins

Twas the Night Before Atkins

Twas the night before Atkins and all through the land
Not a bad carb could be found, not by woman or man.
The celery was placed under pillows with care,
In hopes that the whoosh Fairy soon would be there.

The dieters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of thin bottoms danced in their heads.
As I looked in the mirror, and jumped on the scale,
I was morbidly fluffy, this much I could tell.

When down in the kitchen there rose such a clatter,
I sprang down the stairs to see what was the matter.
Away through the house I flew like a flash,
My belly did jiggle and so did my ass. More

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I’d Like to Teach the World to Eat

I’d like to Teach the World to Eat

Sing to the tune I’d like to Teach the World to Sing, as performed by New Seekers.

I’d like to teach the world a diet
A diet that I love
Grow thin like me, lose pounds they’ll see
And show what Atkins does.

I’d like to teach the world to eat
In perfect health they’ll be.
I’d like to teach them low carb-ly
And keep them company. More

I Lost it My Way

I Lost It My Way

Sing to the tune  My Way, by Sinatra.

And now inductions near
And so I face the final muffin
My friend I’ll say it clear
I’ll lose my weight, this much I’m certain.

I ate, till way past full
I’ve shoveled in each and every Carbohydrate
And more, much more than this
I ate it my way.
Florets, I’ve had a few
But then again to few to mention.

I ate what I wanted to
And saw my butt had grew
without Intention. More

Atkinsville: Sung to the tune of Green Acres

Atkinsville

You ever get one of those songs stuck in your head that you just can’t let go of? Well, I had a little time to kill at work and decide to write a song to the tune of Green Acres, now I can’t get it out of this wee little brain of mine.

 

Atkinsville is the place to be
eating food that is good for me
butts spreading out so far and wide
keep your muffins, just give me my
chicken thighs.

New York strip is the Atkins way
burger and fries are here to stay.
I just adore pasta fagioli
dah-ling I love you but give me my
carbo food.

Low carbs
I’ll starve
Fresh Greens
You’re mean.

You are my wife
Good-bye dirty rice

Atkinsville we are there…

As always, comments are welcome and encouraged.

Terry (whyguy)

Living The Atkins Style

In the style of Gilligan’s Island

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a weight-loss trip
That started on the Atkins forum,
A board with many tips.

Atkins was a mighty fillin plan,
Good suppers that’s for sure.
The dieters signed up one day
For a weight loss assured
A weight loss assured.

The craving started getting tough,
The Atkins plan was lost,
Thanks to the food choices on this plan
The dieters showed who’s boss
The dieters showed who’s boss.

The tips they found on the Atkins forum
gave them all a smile.

Meet Grami Cin
And Georgie too
Here’s Jennifer and Fit 4life
A movie star
The moderator and
Adriane

Livin–the Atkins Style.

So this is the tale of the waste-a-ways, they’re here for a long, long time.
They’ll have to make the best of things,
Up through owl they climb.

The first-rate friends are chipper too,
They’ll do their very best,
To make you all as comfortable,
On the forum I like best.

No toast! No grains! No Demon Carbs!
Not a one thing sugary,
Slowing down the Glucose,
You’ll lose fat you’ll see.

So join us here this week my friends,
You’re sure to get a smile,
As you watch the weight melt off…
Livin—the Atkins Style.

As always, comments are welcome and encourage.

Terry (whyguy)