Out of the Darkness

At times, being an aspiring writer is not always easy, the words don’t always flow forth onto the page as easily as I would like, so I go in search of inspiration where I can find it.  On one particular day when my words eluded me I went in search of a candle, what I found was something buried deep within me, and when my writing was complete I would be transformed.

I know I have one, I’m sure of it.  I ruffle through the drawer—searching for that piece of inspiration that will light the way to my imagination.  Six-tangled-electrical-cords, three tacks, forgotten pictures of birthdays past, and student Picasso’s tattered and worn—there it is—one lone stick of inspiration.

I place the fragile remnant before me, its cold,  fleshy remains dripping with waxy tears, and I wonder how much life remains in this savior of the night.  I peel away flakes of burnt memories as I remember the dark nights when the children were scared and we told stories to pass the time until the light-of-day, or the power company saved us from the fear of night.

One strike, a whiff of sulfur, and it is time to begin.

As I stare at the flame that flickers in the light of day, I am saddened at how the golden flame of hope seems dull, sad, and eerily still.  It cast no foreboding shadow, brings no warmth, and for the moment—no inspiration.

How much has my mind become like this candle, the synapses hardly used these days, withering away into nothings.  How long will it be before the light that once burnt so brightly in me fades away and I too become used up, with nothing left to give the world but a few last flickers from an old man who has been used up by ravages of time?

The flame dances across my soul, burning deeply within the far reaches of the memories of the man I used to be. Drawing up memories of what could have been, if only I had dared to dream.  If only, if only, if only… I had dared to use my talents in the way they were meant to be.

A candle no more belongs in the light of day than I belong in the darkness of a job that has never, will never, and can never appreciate who I am.  As the flame begins to wane, my flame begins to burn brighter. Maybe, just maybe, I can find a way to come out of the shadows and follow the beacon of light to my dreams, and one day call myself a writer.

Today is that day, I am no longer an aspiring write—today I am a writer.

Terry A. Elkins (whyguy)

All Day

Wayne Dyer, the Dalai Lama, Buddha, Eckhart Tolle, and many others—all wise men, have taught me many things over the years, but the wisdom that I have found in one small child’s words have taught me the most about the power of living in the moment.

When I was a young father and my now twenty-three year old daughter was  four, I was put in charge of watching her.  I was given explicit instructions to keep an eye on Sara by my wife:  Don’t let Sara eat cookies for breakfast, play with Mom’s makeup, or dress up in Sara’s new Easter dress.

Check, check, check…got it.  “Don’t worry,” I said, thinking, how hard could it be to watch a four-year old.  With a bit of trepidation Mom left us alone.  After mom left,  I laid down for a quick nap, knowing Sara would be fine.  After all, she was playing quietly, so how much mischief could she get into.

After some time, I woke up to the sound of giggling coming from Sara’s room.  I was curious to what she was doing so I lumbered to her room, pulled back the lace curtains of the French doors, and peered through the window.  My heart quickened, my eyes bulged, and panic over took me.  Sara was having a tea party with Ken and Dreamtime Barbie, Teddy the one eyed bear, and Curly Q the half-bald Cabbage Patch Kid that Sara decided would look better with a trim.  She was serving cookies and milk to all partygoers and she had on my wife’s lipstick (both on her and Ken).  She was also wearing her frilly pink Easter dress, with full compliment of stockings, gloves, and black pearl dress shoes.

I panicked and thrusts open the doors—it cracked with the sound of thunder against the wall.  Sara gave a quick jump, smiled, and said with the voice of happiness, “ Hi Daddy, want some milk and cookies?”  She was oblivious to the predicament we were in, but I was not.  I had failed completely at my mission and knew when Mom came home I was a dead man.

I grabbed Sara’s startled hand, and dragged her to the bathroom.  I tossed her onto the edge of the sink, and as I began wiping the overused Ruby Red lipstick from my perplexed child’s face, I noticed rips in her stockings.  They were soaked in a dark crimson, and both precious knees were swollen, scraped, and bruised.

My voice cracked, “What happened?”

She shrugged her shoulders—casually pronouncing “I fell down, no big deal.”

My hands trembled as I began working on her wounds.  My eyes darted around the room, and  my breath quickened as I berated my daughter.  “Your Mom is going to kill me!  Why didn’t you wake me?  Where’s the Band-aids?  Doesn’t that hurt?  Why aren’t you crying?”

Sara stared into my soul with her precious blue indigo child eyes, and softly spoke, “Daddy, I got hurt earlier, why cry now?”

I huffed, “But what about Mom, she’s going to be pissed?”  Sara again shrugged nonchalantly.

“I think we’re both going to get grounded,” I said.

Sara laughed, and that’s when she said the wisest words I have ever heard from a child.  “Daddy, I got hurt earlier and Mommy don’t get home until later, now we have all day to be happy.

A wash of calm overtook me, tears welled up in my eyes, and my spirit became still.  I lifted Sara into my arms, and asked, “how about some more milk and cookies Pumpkin?”

She smiled, wrapped her arms around my neck, and squeezed my waist with her legs, as she whispered in my ear, “I love you Daddy.”

The rest of the day, we were happy.

This incident taught me the power of living fully in the moment, and not to worry about the what happened, or what may happen, the only time we have to be happy is now.  As Eckhart Tolle says, “Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now”

These are the words I live by till this day.

Terry A. Elkins (whyguy)

The Child Within

I often seek guidance from my oldest and dearest friend.  We often spend hours together playing, laughing, contemplating the mysteries of the universe, or sometimes, we just sit in silence enjoying each others company.

My friend is still a kid in many way, he sees the world through child like eyes–-the eyes of a dreamer they say.  The difficulties of life have not hardened his child like out look on life.  And, his kind heart allows him to see nothing but the good in this world.  He has no time for worry, no time for regrets, and no time to wallow in his sorrows.  No, he’s too busy for that.  He’s always rushing around exploring, playing, laughing, dreaming, and living life to its fullest.

He truly is a dreamer.

I envy his energy and spirit, and this is why I call upon him now and again to remind me not to take life so serious.  He nudges me with a wink and smile, as he finds ways to bring back the magic that is sometimes lost in my life.  He is the truest of friends, for he can be nothing but.  He is the child within my soul.

Have a wonderful day my friends, may you always find time to spend with your inner child on the playground of life.

Terry (whyguy)

Shall We Dance

Every morning the universe has woken me from my slumber and has asked me to dance.  “Yes,” I would reply, “I love to dance, but only if I can lead.”  The universe gave me what I wished.  We danced every day, but I felt awkward on the floor of life.  We stumbled together, with me complaining about how bad the universe was at this.  It provided no music that I could hear and kept stepping on my toes.  It was as if the universe had never danced before.

Then one night while I lay dreaming, an angel appeared before me.  Speaking with the sweet voice of a summer breeze, the radiant light of love revealed a secret to me.  “God loves you, and will provide all that you ask, if only you let go of your fear and believe.”

The next morning, as I prepared for my daily dance, I remembered the angel’s words; I dropped to my knees, looked into the face of God and cried out.  “I can’t dance like this anymore—will you lead?”

God whispered into my ear, “your wish is my command little one—Shall we dance?”

I wept as God gracefully moved me around the floor of life—it was so beautiful, and as I let go of my fears, I heard the music for the first time—the song, release the magic in you by the group Infinite Possibilities.  We danced and danced, never stumbling, never tiring, and ever so gently moving through the days of my life, picking up my hearts desires along the way.

The universe has become my dance floor with God as my partner.  I now feel peace, joy, and hope again.  I let go of my fears and limiting beliefs, and now dance the waltz of life as it was meant to be—with God in the lead.

May you all hear your song, and dance your dance—and when God whispers in your ear, “Shall We Dance,” let go of your fears and believe.

Terry A. Elkins (whyguy)

Knock At the Door

“When was the last time you had a conversation with the moon. Held hope on a string. Got lost in an enchanted wood.” Click on this link and when you get to Duirwaigh Galley watch the video by clicking the link knock on the door. Trust me, you’re going to love this. Then come back and tell me what you think.

Terry (whyguy)

The Secret Truth

When we build a wall around our very soul, can it be called a prison? Prisons are made to keep people in—but they are built by others. But a wall built one brick at a time by us isn’t  a prison—It’s a place we hide.

Each brick placed slowly in place over the years. Bricks made of fear, of worry, of tragedy, and desperation—before long we’ve built four walls of loneliness where we hide away from the rest of the world.

We leave no doorway for others to enter—out of fear that they may hurt us. But when we do this we lose our ability to escape, to know love, and gain nourishment from the joy of others. We become trapped in a tormented world of isolation.

There is a secret door way however, this doorway can be found in the truth, and that truth is…

What is your truth? Only you have the key to unlock that door.

Terry (whyguy)